So last night I had an epiphany... no it wasn't painful lol😏
I was thinking about my insecurities and lack of confidence and generally feeling rather shite about it when I suddenly understood something.
You see, I've always believed that when life knocks you it chips away at your confidence and self-worth and then you have to get through with what you have left!
Imagine a pillar standing strong and tall called 'Confidence'. Life passes by and as it does so it occasionally knocks the pillar, causing pieces of it to break off and fall away. There is nothing the pillar can do about it apart from keep holding itself upright and hope that it is strong enough to cope with life and its knocks. However, if Confidence is knocked hard enough it fears it will break down completely, no longer able to be strong and support itself. This fear lived within the pillar as a constant companion.
So this is an image, if you like, of how I saw my own confidence. I believed my confidence was at the mercy of how others treated me, talked to me, thought of me. I believed it was a matter of faking it and pretending to be uber confident but I could see that this made me look desperate to be accepted, genuine and capable.
So how has my image changed?
To start with we have the same pillar, standing strong and tall only this time as life passes by the pillar may feel life's presence, especially when life is hard on it, but there are no knocks that claim pieces of the pillar. No parts of Confidence fall to the floor shattering into tiny pieces. In fact as life passes, Confidence can turn to Life and thank it for bringing certain things to Confidence's attention.
Now Confidence stands knowing that its self-worth is NOT down to what Life does to it, says about it or thinks about it. It exists as itself, in it's own strength because it chooses to.
It changes it's beliefs about how vulnerable it is and whether to give it's power away or to own it........TOTALLY!!!
Now to put these new thought patterns into practice.